Wander & Wonder

I have the bad habit of comparing myself to others around me, which has definitely intensified since becoming a medical student. Medical school is a place where achievement and excellence are the baseline, which is amazing yet highly stressful. I remember feeling so overwhelmed on my first day of medical school, surrounded by incredibly driven and intelligent people. Some of my colleagues had already excelled in other professions (shout-out to the lawyer, Olympian, physiotherapists, and pharmacists in my class), many already had numerous publications in their name, and most seemed to exude an aura of confidence. Fast-forward to my third year of medical school, where it feels nearly impossible to resist measuring myself against others during clinical rotations. The doctor will ask a question (ex. “What lab marker indicates tumor lysis syndrome?”) and then it feels like a battle between the medical students: who will answer “uric acid” first and get the look of approval from the doctor, and who will feel like they lack knowledge in comparison (when in reality it could just be that they take longer to think or that they have not reviewed this topic yet).

But comparing myself to others began long before my medical school journey, and I put the blame on social media. A quick scroll through Instagram or Facebook is never actually quick. One post leads to the next and suddenly I have gone through 20 different people’s profiles (or worse, gone back 10 years in someone’s profile). After a few minutes, anxious thoughts inevitably start to fill my brain: Am I doing enough in life? Will I ever be as happy as that person? Should I also have all those things by now? Why is everyone so much prettier than me?Then I start to feel guilty for thinking this way, as I don’t want to be ungrateful for all of the wonderful things I have. And this just spirals into a terrible waste of time, energy, and ultimately a great loss of positive energy.

I imagine that this experience with social media sounds familiar. I wanted to write this post today to let you know that it is both normal and common to compare yourself to others. But more importantly, I wanted to share that comparison is an illusion. What we see in others is rarely the full story.

Even after acknowledging the dangers of comparison, stepping away from it is not easy. By no means have I figured out how to stop comparing myself to others, but I am currently striving towards shifting my mindset to what I can control (my own behaviors and actions) and not entertaining thoughts related to things outside of my control (others’ successes or skills). This does not mean that I won’t ever have these thoughts, but rather that I won’t let them influence my mood, self-esteem, or personal goals.

Of course a more direct solution is to delete your social media accounts, or at least remove the applications from your phone. I took the decision to delete my Instagram account a few years ago, and I cannot tell you how much time I save, not to mention how much more fulfilled I feel. This was a really hard step and I felt the need to renew my account the second after deleting it. But after a few days, it became natural and I realized that I was obsessing over people I barely even knew. Why do you need to know the details of your 405th “friend’s” life? I was worried that I would lose contact with my long-distance friends, but my closest friends have stayed in touch with me through text messages, voice recordings, phone calls, and video calls (all much more meaningful than Instagram posts and comments).

I used to think that comparison could inspire me to strive for better, but I have realized that more often than not, it paralyzes me. Comparison is a thief of joy. So keep an eye out!