Wander & Wonder

Today I wanted to share a little exercise called the Three Values Exercise, which I learned from Dr. Russ Harris’ The Happiness Trap program. It reveals a lot about how we are living compared to how we want to be living. Please take the time to go through each prompt; I promise it’s worthwile!

Prompt 1: Imagine yourself at 80 years old looking back on your life today.
Then complete the following sentences:
• I spent too much time worrying about…
• I did not spend enough time doing…
• If I could go back in time, what I would do differently is…

My answers came surprisingly quickly:
• I spent too much time worrying about… how I look and what other people think of me.
• I did not spend enough time doing… things simply because I wanted to and not because I “should” or “needed to”
• If I could go back I would spend far less time… stressing about the future (i.e. ‘what ifs?’)

Prompt 2: Imagine watching a video of your mistakenly held funeral (you did not actually die but everyone thinks you did) and someone you love is giving a speech about you.
What would you hope they are saying in terms of:
• The sort of person you were
• Your greatest strengths and qualities
• The way you treated the people you love

This reflection reminded me that who I am matters far more than anything I achieve or own.

Prompt 3: Pick a challenge you are dealing with today. Now picture yourself one year from today, and imagine that you handled it in the best way you possibly could while being the person you truly want to be.
• What did I stand for in the face of this challenge?
• How did I treat myself?
• How did I treat the people I care about?

Once I finished the exercise, I was able to identify my core values (I know the exercise is titled Three Values, but I ended up with five for myself):
• Authenticity
• Gratitude
• Dependability
• Humor
• Acceptance

NOTE: No value is better than another. Each one is unique and important. The only thing that matters is that your values feel genuine to you.

After identifying your values, reflect on the following questions:

1. What are the most important values I identified?
2. What thoughts and feelings pull me away from living these values?
3. What difference would it make to my life if I lived these values more consistently in work, school, health, leisure, family, or friendships?

After identifying and reflecting on your values, the goal is to look for small opportunities throughout the day to sprinkle them into your life. Each morning, choose one or two values you want to embody and actively seek moments to live them. And when you act in line with your values, pause and savor it. Notice the difference it makes in how you feel and how you treat others.

We do not have to wait for a future version of ourselves or for every goal to be achieved before realizing what matters to us and how we want to act. We can start living like that person right now. One moment at a time. One value at a time.